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Tony Stark vs. Michaela
Transcript Edit Michaela lacerates Noel Edit Michaela: "That oughta kill him!" [Noel is watching Yogi Bear on TV with his Woody Woodpecker plush toy in the room when he sees Michaela] Michaela: "Noel..." Noel: "Yes, Michaela?" Michaela: "It's time for you to die!" Noel: (nervously) "I don't want to die." lunges at Noel with a kitchen knife, but Noel runs away with his sister chasing him Noel: "Mummy, help me!" dashes into his bedroom and crawls under his bed to hide finds him, and pulls him out from under the bed Noel: "Let me go! Stop it, please!" stabs Noel with the knife in the left leg Noel: (wailing) "MUMMY!!!!" Tabitha: "Oh my god! Noel, what happened to your leg?" Noel: "Michaela did this to me!" anger explodes at Michaela Tabitha: "MICHAELA DAGMAR BRITIANA! YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR 1 WHOLE YEAR!" see a Woody Woodpecker plush covered in Noel's blood moves the knife to the right leg Noel: (wailing in pain) "MUMMY!" Tabitha: "TONY, CALL AN AMBULANCE!" Stark picks up his iPhone and dials the number "911" 911 Dispatcher: "Hello?" Tony Stark: "Excuse me, my son Noel has a knife stabbed through his left leg. He is wailing because he was badly injured." 911 Dispatcher: "OK, we will summon an ambulance shortly. Thanks." Tabitha's death Edit Michaela: "Off with your head!" Tabitha: "What are you doing?" cuts Tabitha's head off is dead Kathryn: "Mom! Have you seen my--oh my god...Dad!" Tony Stark: "What is it? Oh my god... why is Tabitha's head off?" Kathryn: "Michaela did this to her." Tony Stark: "Michaela, why would you do such a thing? You are grounded for 3 months!" Michaela: (scoffs) "SHE'S A MEAN GIRL!" anger explodes at Michaela Tony Stark: "MICHAELA DAGMAR BRITIANA! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" Michaela: "If you dare snitch me to the police, I'll kill you, too! And the whole family!" Tabitha's funeral Edit Priest: "My friends, we are gathered here today to bid farewell to Tabitha Wilhemina Britiana. She was the kind of woman who..." takes a dump on the casket Kathryn: "Michaela!" dances around the casket naked Tony Stark: "MICHAELA DAGMAR BRITIANA!" Tabitha's sister: "MY LORD!" sister faints on Tabitha's mother's arms steals the valuable vases and throws them at Tabitha's twin sister Tabitha's twin sister: "Oh, my lord!" Michaela: "Drop dead, (bleep)!" Tabitha's mother: "My word..." Kathryn: "Michaela, you put your clothes back on!" Michaela: "SHUT UP!!!" Tony Stark: "Michaela, my god! This is so embarrassing!" Michaela: "SHUT UP SMELLY!!!!!" Tabitha's twin sister: "Oh, my word!" [Michaela changes the music to a P!nk song with questionable lyrics] Tabitha's twin sister: "Mother, do something!" Tabitha's mother: "I wish I could do something, Judith, but..." Back home Edit Tony Stark: "Michaela, I have never been so embarrassed in my life! We held a funeral for your mother because of you! Your behavior at the funeral was very embarrassing and abysmal! I am never taking you to another funeral, ever! Stay in your room for the rest of the evening! You are grounded for 6 months!" Michaela: "(bleep) YOU!" Tony Stark: "If you talk back to me, I will double your grounding time to a month." Michaela: "I'm already grounded for 6 months you moron." Tony Stark: "My bad. If you talk back to me, I will double your grounding time to a year." Michaela: "Well, mom is a mean girl and Noel is annoying!" Tony Stark: "Just because you think Noel is annoying and that your mother was mean, doesn't mean you can lacerate Noel or behead your mother!"